“Whoever seeks to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.” ~Luke 17:33, NASB
Letting go to find safety. Sounds off, doesn’t it?
My husband and I recently took our four kids to the YMCA of the Rockies (we love that place) for a family getaway. Among the many fun activities they have, the rock wall was the highlight this year, because they’d installed a new, three-story, more challenging contraption. All six of us were eager to give it a go.
Though it’s been awhile, I have been rappelling before, so I was more concerned with the climbing up part than the going down. But along with the new wall, the Y had installed auto belays. No problem, I thought. I climbed to the top, slapped the auto-machine, and started to lean back for the ride down. Uh, except it didn’t catch. With my right fingertips still in contact with the wall, I curled my fist and jerk myself back to safety.
“It’s okay,” the instructor called from the floor. “You’ll free fall for less than a second, and then it’ll catch, you’re just gonna have to trust it.”
Yikes. Did I mention that I’m afraid of heights? Seriously, I am. I like adventure, and I don’t want to live in fear, so I push myself to do these things, but truly, I’m wet-your-pants afraid of heights. Free fall? Even for a second? You’ve got to be kidding me.
But there wasn’t another option.
I drew a long breath–quite possibly my last, I thought, closed my eyes . . . And let go.
My heart wound up somewhere in my neck for that half a second before the belay caught, but then the slack gained resistance and I was in a controlled rappel down that three-story drop.
Surrender is a bit like that, I think. Letting go, trusting that God has control even when I don’t is kind off like leaning back into that free fall. But it’s what He’s asked of me. There are some places I get to climb–to participate in His plan. But there are others, like stuff with my kids, situations at church or work, where I don’t have grip on any of it. But God does.
In theses moments, I hear him whisper, “You’re just gonna have to trust me.”
Note: Susan will be back with us in a week or so. She’s busy painting and packing as she prepares to move. Please join me in praying for her and her family as they dive into a new adventure.